March 21, 2010
Personally, I think that it is fine to support my adult child and he is welcome to stay at home within certain conditions or parameters. One of the ground rules I would insist upon is that my adult child helps with the household chores and if he is working, he should contribute towards the household expenses as well. One day, I would expect him to move out and build a family of his own. However, I would not kick him out of the house when family support is still needed.
One of the main concerns when an adult child lives with the parents is on money matters. I would not want to jeopardize my own financial future to support my adult child continuously. Your adult child has to understand that you are not going to sponsor his leisure pursuits or other hobbies while staying with you. You are not his banker unless he is committed to repaying the money. I would love to help my adult child once in awhile (if I can afford it) but it will be my decision whether to do so or not.
Educate him quickly!
Your adult child needs to be taught to live within his means, start to build a nest egg as soon as possible and not to fall victim to money traps like credit cards. An important priority is finding a source of income (not the parents) like getting a good paying job or jobs (it does not hurt to work hard especially when you are still young). It is imperative that your child loves his work and finds it fulfilling. Teach him how to budget and to pay his bills on time. If he has trouble paying his bills, do not rush in immediately to bail him out. He has to figure out how to solve his money problems with your advice and guidance.
In short, the goal is getting your adult child to be independent and take control of his own life. You would not want him still dependent on you especially during your retirement period, right?
Warren Buffett's approach is reasonable, give them enough to be
comfortable but not so much as to end up as useless human trash.
Let The Man Be The Man He Is