Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

"If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. 

Criticism is dangerous, because it 

• wounds a person's precious pride, 
• hurts his sense of importance, and 
• arouses resentment.

By criticizing, we 

• do not make lasting changes and 
• often incur resentment.

The resentment that criticism engenders 

• can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and 
• still not correct the situation that has been condemned.

Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof, when your own doorstep is unclean.

Confucius

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. 

We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. 

But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.

Thomas Carlyle

Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. 

Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. 

That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.

Reference:  How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie