News you could use
Instead, the image that fills your TV screen is the facade of the New York Stock Exchange, festooned with a huge banner reading: "SALE! 50% OFF!" As intro music, Bachman-Turner Overdrive can be heard blaring a few bars of their old barn-burner, "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet." Then the anchorman announces brightly, "Stocks became more attractive yet again today, as the Dow dropped another 2.5% on heavy volume - the fourth day in a row that stocks have gotten cheaper. Tech investors fared even better, as leading companies like Microsoft lost nearly 5% on the day, making them even more affordable. That comes on top of the good news of the past year, in which stocks have already lost 50%, putting them at bargain levels not seen in years. And some prominent analysts are optimistic that prices may drop still further in the weeks and months to come."
The newscast cuts over to market strategist Ignatz Anderson of the Wall Street firm of Ketchum & Skinner, who says, "My forecast is for stocks to lose another 15% by June. I'm cautiously optimistic that if everything goes well, stocks could lose 25%, maybe more."
"Let's hope Ignatz Anderson is right," the anchor says cheerily. "Falling stock prices would be fabulous news for any investor with a very long horizon. And now over to Wally Wood for our exclusive AccuWeather forecast."
Ref: Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham
Based on the provided text, here is a summary:
This article presents a satirical vision of a financial news network (the Benjamin Graham Financial Network) that frames a stock market crash not as a disaster, but as a welcome sale.
Key Points:
Reframing the Narrative: Instead of showing panic and fear, the "news report" cheerfully announces falling prices, describing stocks as "more attractive," "cheaper," and "more affordable."
A Long-Term Perspective: The report celebrates the decline, stating that "falling stock prices would be fabulous news for any investor with a very long horizon." This reflects the core value investing principle of buying when prices are low.
Contrast with Typical Media: The piece directly contrasts this approach with mainstream financial media, which typically focuses on the short-term panic and losses during a market downturn.
Graham's Philosophy: The summary perfectly illustrates Benjamin Graham's philosophy, as detailed in The Intelligent Investor. He famously advocated for being greedy when others are fearful and viewing market pessimism as an opportunity to buy quality assets at a discount.
In essence, the article uses humor to highlight the fundamental investing wisdom of treating a market crash as a buying opportunity rather than a reason to sell.
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